


Young Gregg

by MjolnirMjolfar



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M, The Mighty Boosh - Freeform, downstairs mixup, old gregg - Freeform, scaly manfish, young gregg - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 17:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15890451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MjolnirMjolfar/pseuds/MjolnirMjolfar
Summary: "You love me, and you've seen me, and you know me. I'm Old Gregg!"But what was Gregg's life like before he met the Funk? Why was he waiting in a lake?Learn about Gregg's origins through the eyes of Erin, a senior private school student.





	1. A Girl in the Boys' Washroom

The beginning of the school year feels full of possibilities. The verdant manicured lawns with neatly swept walkways surround the proud brick buildings. Everyone’s uniform was crisp with starch, navy blue with gold buttons and the coat of arms over their hearts. Faces passed all around me: haughty, studious, and confident. I tried my best to imitate their expressions.

In my last year at Master Ludwig’s Preparatory School for Boys, I hoped to get through the year quietly, and as unseen as the previous years. The bustle of class change was fading, and I thought I’d visit the loo quick before Calculus started.

The relief of release was washing over me as I noticed that I picked a urinal right next to someone else! I flushed a deep red and glanced to my left. They were using some type of folded plastic to pee standing up. They don’t have a penis, I thought, before yelling: 

“There’s a girl in the boys’ washroom!”

As I turned to run and get help. I slip and fall onto a WET FLOOR sign.

~~~  
When I come to, I see the “creature” from before. It has green eyes and skin, and it’s hair looks to be made of seaweed. Monster. It flashes a white smile, surrounded by bright red lips before warning:  
“If you scream again, I’ll have to hurt you. Understand?”  
I nod.  
It continues, “Now I see you’ve noticed my downstairs mix up. Nothing to be afraid of. I don’t bite, unless you ask me.” It smiles again. I shudder.  
“W-what are you?” I recoil a bit, then try to straighten up and look confident.  
“I’m Gregg. A scaly man-fish. What are you?” He tips his head curiously.  
“I’m Erin, a senior, and a MAN”, I snap, puffing my chest a bit. He doesn’t seem intimidated. 

Instead he asks:  
“Did you know it’s poor etiquette to chose the urinal next to someone?” He face stretches into a wide smile, “But since you had a look, what do you think?”

“I was distracted when I came in and I’m sorry I saw what I saw.” You counter.   
His face darkens. I backtrack, “ I’m sorry- Gregg, was it? That was uncalled for. You obviously mean me no harm and didn’t deserve that.”

Gregg swallows hard enough that I see his adam’s apple bobbing. I need to work on getting out this washroom and back to class. I begin, “Are you a student here? I really need to get going.”

“Not yet. I need you to do me a favor-- don’t tell anyone about me.”  
“Done!” I get up to leave and Gregg doesn’t stop me.

I get to Calculus and apologize to my professor for my extreme tardiness. I sit at my desk and think who would even believe that a scaly man-fish with a ‘downstairs mix up’ was in the washroom? 

Calculus makes much more sense than that foolishness. No sense in worrying about seeing him again.


	2. A New Student

Things have been going missing at Master Ludwig’s Preparatory School for Boys. Odd little things like uniforms and keys. The prefects are running about reminding everyone that thieves will be punished. It’s strange that little things are being taken when there are so many expensive items and clothing kept by students on campus. 

About half the students live on campus and the other half commute. Normally, seniors like me have their own off-campus apartment, but have been allowed to live in the dorms in exchange for janitorial work. My school tuition is paid by scholarship, but my family can barely keep their own house, let alone help me pay for my housing. I don’t mind the janitorial work, but sometimes the wealthier students leave me ‘gifts’. Some gifts are crunchy tissues that didn’t make it to the waste basket, vomit in sink basins, or feces in the shower. It’s unpleasant, but I’m confident that the world will treat me differently once I’ve received my education here.

Our board includes three meals a day, and I’m usually the only student present for all meals each day. There is an abundance of apple-flavored items since it’s nearly autumn. I guess there will be pumpkin-flavored stuff in the coming weeks. 

I’ve been trying to push that unpleasant bathroom incident out of my mind, but I can’t stop thinking about if I should have helped. It-- he didn’t seem to want to cause me harm. It was more like when you corner a spider and you’re both scared. Some people kill a spider immediately-- just a smudge of guts. Others will catch the spider and put it outdoors. But I try to keep my distance and hope that we won’t bump into each other again. 

There is an activities fair today for students who want to learn about the clubs and groups on campus. There are academic groups, recreational groups, and cultural groups. I’ve had my eye on Ludwig’s Honor Society, but some of the members are ones that leave me “gifts” in the residence hall. While passing a small auditorium, I hear a familiar voice and poke my head in.

It’s him.  
Gregg is smiling and introducing himself, and the small group of students is listening and murmuring welcoming remarks.   
I charge at him, taking the steps two at a time:  
“He shouldn’t be HERE!” I shout.

Gregg recognizes me and sneers. A hush falls over the group before a short woman with long locs, approaches and asks: “Why do you think Gregg doesn’t belong here?”

“For Pete’s sake! He’s green!” I exclaim, flustered.  
The woman’s eyebrows knit close, and she announces to everyone: “The Multicultural Club at Ludwig’s accepts all people of color, including green.”

I swallow, and briefly meet the eyes of everyone in the room. Their faces are shades of tan and brown, and I become very aware of my white skin.

“Imsosorry” I blurt out and race out of the room.  
I don’t stop running until I’m at the fountain in the center of campus. I let the mist from the spray cool off my reddened face, cursing myself for being so foolhardy. 

“Hey.” Gregg appears, and I fall backwards into the fountain.   
He pulls me upright by my arms. My torso is soaked. My elbows are bruised.   
“You forgot your keys.” He drops the ring of master keys to the residence hall at my feet and turns to go.

“Wait.” I call out.

**Author's Note:**

> Whatcha think? Gimme feedback


End file.
